Black Swan

Ok, so I realize it is Christmas, and it would therefore be more appropos to write a Christmas-themed post. However, I have a lot to say about this movie. I went to a morning showing yesterday (that's right. On Christmas Eve.), and I loved it. It was absolutely terrifying, erotic, and gruesome. The eroticism was mostly disturbing, and the the gore was even worse. The gore was the sort of thing that anybody with a nervous habit, such as biting or clipping nails obsessively, would shiver at. The movie took these habits and displayed their bloody, extreme results. It was the sort of movie somebody with my mind generally should not see. I was thinking about it hours later, and I woke up thinking about it.

The film illustrates an idea found repeatedly in literature and art. In many novels, such as The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde, the protagonist somehow achieves perfection, whether in beauty, success, or some other goal or desire. In order to gain that perfection, the protagonist must sacrifice something important. Typically, he or she sacrifices his or her soul. Black Swan displays this sacrifice as a process in which the innocent and virginal protagonist, Nina Sayers, loses her mind in her effort to dance both the White Swan and the Black Swan flawlessly, something it is not in her nature to do. Eventually, the impossibility and unnaturalness of the task leads to both her perfection and her destruction.

It is strange that in a culture which places a high focus on both attaining perfection and denying human nature, Culture such as Black Swan and The Picture of Dorian Gray has been created, asserting that in order to meet the expectations of our culture we must sell our souls to the devil, or whatever dualistic opposite of god in which one believes. Given that I believe literature and art function in American culture like Fairy Tales once did in others, simultaneously reflecting cultural values and imparting them to members of society in order that they might structure their lives around these values, the constant resurfacing of this theme in Culture is significant. Is it evidentiary of the conflict we experience as Americans? Is American thought in fact built upon conflict between dualistic poles? Maybe some day, I'll be able to propose answers to these questions.

Interviews and Armageddon

Well, I think the interview went well. I won't know until next week, though. I hope to receive a phone call for a secondary interview. I always hate it when they're done with the interrogation and say, "Do you have any questions for me?"

*cricket*

"Not yet," always answer, "but I am certain that if you choose to select me for the position, I will have many questions as I begin to work." I'm pretty flexible. I'm rarely concerned with things like, "How many people will I work with?" or "Will I have my own cubicle?"All I really wanted to know was, "how many hours a week?" and she answered the question before I even had to ask. I'll talk about salary, etc. if they offer me the position.

In other news, the apocolypse came to Richmond on Thursday. Everybody rushed from their homes as soon as they received word of the impending doom. They bought gas, milk, bread, all the necessary provisions for the Ice Age that rapidly encroached into the city limits. Work was canceled, and many people spent the entire day in their homes, not daring to venture out into the ice-cold, wintery death zone into which the city had metamorphosed.

I, myself, crocheted a hat for Mo and watched out the window as the snow grew to a massive height of four inches. I also watched the squirrel who chills on our back porch sit in his tree with his tail over his head like a canopy. Mo calls it the Squirrel Umbrella. It was adorable.

Coffee and Cheese Bagels

There's supposed to be a snow/ice storm tomorrow, which, in Virginia, means mob-scale idiocy. However...

I have Kahlua brand Hazelnut coffee!!!!

It's just coffee, booze not included. Fine by me. I'm not much of a drinker. But the coffee has subtle rum flavor and hazelnut, medium-bodied (my favorite). I didn't have to add much sugar, either, because it is just that good. It's like eating a rum chocolate! Plus, my dinner tonight is a bagel baked with cheese, one of my favorite meals.

Also, I have a telephone interview with a CPA firm tomorrow afternoon. I interviewed with a temp agency on Black Friday, and they've gotten me the interview for this job. It's full-time!!!! I'm so excited! Maybe with full-time work, I'll be able to get out of this rut. Wish me luck!

Mo has also told me she loves me several times today, and not in the sort of off-handed way we tend to say it when we're leaving for work either. She keeps on looking at me and telling me that I'm beautiful, and smelling my neck, and kissing me. (The smelling thing might sound weird, but there's this thing about the smell of a person you love. It's like eating chocolate, or your favorite winter meal, or drinking hot tea while your outside in the snow.) Then she looks me in the eyes and says, "I love you," with a slight shrug to her shoulders and a smile on her face (the right corner higher than the left). It's absolutely wonderful. I've had a good day today.

Musical Mondays: God Left the Ground to Circle the World

Boy with a coin he found in the weeds
With bullets and pages of trade magazines
Close to a car that flipped on the turn
When God left the ground to circle the world

Hey.... Oh....

Girl with a bird she found in the snow
That flew up her gown, and that's how she knows
That God made her eyes for crying at birth
Then left the ground to circle the earth

Hey....Oh....

Boy with a coin he crammed in his jeans
Then making a wish, and tossed in the seat
Then walked to a town that all of us burned
When God left the ground to circle the world


I chose this song because it reminds me of the question I constantly ask myself: Has God left us to our own devices? Did she give birth to the world and retreat into herself to watch what all its creatures would make of it? I wondered about it this morning, in fact.

Vanity Post

I'm really missing my long black hair today. Sure, it was messy, and frizzy, and heavy, but I loved having it. I'm also missing the long, craggy, pale face that it framed. (Right now it's more round and freckled)

On the bright side, maybe by the time it grows back, I'll also have that cute size 10-12 figure that went with it a couple years ago, and of course the craggy face. 6 inches/1 year to go!

I think that should be my weight/pants size loss goal. "Skinny Sophie" should be back by the time her hair is long again. YES!

Musical Mondays and Update

So, I've not been on blogger for a while. Mostly because I have been writing...

Harry Potter Fanfiction!!!!!!

I'm writing a story that takes place during the Marauder time frame. It's about Severus Snape and a bunch of death eaters, and it's also about an original character who is a sister to one of the baddies. I'm creating a very dark and harsh world for the Purebloods, and I'm having fun with it.

Moving on to Musical Mondays...

This is a song I've been listening to a lot lately. It has no lyrics, but it is wonderful. I didn't appreciate it until I saw her perform live, and before that I hated it, so I'm not sure how people will feel about it. You may not want to listen to it with headphones your first time either.

*stares at bank account information on wellsfargo.com*

I hate Christmas.