Ok... so I am very ashamed to admit this.
I still webstalk Ellie. She fascinates me. I read her twitter posts, look at her profile on this fetish facebook site. Today I actually found a blog she wrote years ago, when she and Mo were together. (She was definitely not evil. She was more like a confused little girl, as I have been, as many of us have been. Not that it excuses poor behavior, just makes the reasoning behind it clearer.)
It's not like I have a mad desire. It's not like I NEED to do it, or get upset when I can't find information on her. It's just that it's so damn easy for me, and I'm curious, so why not do it? The only problem now is that I want to talk to her. I wanted to suggest blue liquid latex for her halloween costume when she was having issues with it. I want to say Hi, exchange snippets of conversation. She's like one of the many people I have lost touch with and read posts for and about just to keep up with their lives. At least my emotional involvement with it is the same in both situations. Except she's not one of those old friends.
I feel like the creepiest fucking stalker.
I have no idea why I want to talk with her now, except that I just feel like it. Is it natural to feel as though you are friends with somebody when you've been keeping internet tabs on them for months? Or am I just attracted to chaos?
I haven't talked to her because of the can of worms it could open. I'm terribly frightened (or cautious) of the consequences.
Sophia, the creepy web stalker with too much time on her hands.
I think it's natural to wonder about people, even if they are people who royally fucked with you. I still wonder about exes, and occasionally from my blog stats, I find people who are web stalking one of them... LOL, they search his name and my blog comes up, and I can tell what searches brought them to it. It's funny!
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