Dear Allie,
I still want you from time to time. There were so many things that were wrong the first time. First of all, 22 and 18 is a HUGE age difference, but 27 and 23 isn't so much of one. At least you told me you were 22. According to your facebook, you were 21. It's strange that you would lie about something like that. Regardless, a senior in college is much different than a freshman. Also, I was a complete puppy dog for you. I wanted you so bad that I would have lost myself completely just to have you.
But frankly, the few times we fucked, it wasn't that great. The first time, you barely kissed me. I know now that I needed a lot of kisses to ease me into the whole losing my virginity thing, need a lot of kissing in general during sex. And the second time, you were so high on hydrocodine pills (that I ground up because you were going to snort sharp little pieces and probably tear your nostrils up), that you wouldn't let me do anything to you, said it would make no difference.
The only time I sincerely want you is when my self-esteem is at ultimate lows. Other times, I think that it would be nice to meet through some misunderstanding or freak circumstance and somehow end up in bed together. I'd like to see if you really are as bad as I thought you were, and maybe give you the kind of highly orgasmic sex that makes it hard to walk for a few days. And never speak to you again. Maybe it's sad to want a good revenge fuck. It's probably better not to engage in such behavior, and I know you're not worth it. But... can't help but fantasize about it.
Then again, I don't want an STD.
Sophia
What a sad life she must have.
ReplyDeleteYeah, that's probably true. I worry about her, too, sometimes. She's the kind of person who says she's fine and really isn't.
ReplyDeleteI think you and I are a lot alike... It's in our nature to worry about people, even the people who have hurt us.
ReplyDeleteGuess you can take comfort in the fact that you're genuinely a good person... Guess I could too... lol