Day 2: Letter to My Crush

(Note: I'm just going to write the person who apparently has a thing for me, because I don't have a crush on anybody right now.)

Dear Kinky Man,

I realize that I'm sending you mixed signals. I am not ashamed to admit that I am doing it on purpose. I'm desperately trying to feel remorse about it, but the fact is that I just don't. I realize that you are a human being as well, but you're taking me too deep too fast. The only way for me to survive is to be willfully deceptive.

I find it absolutely hilarious that you tried to have cybersex with Mo and me last night. Believe me, when you said you wanted to have a conference IM session, I did not know that you had cybersex in mind. I haven't been into that since I was a teenager. Mo and I spent the entire time giggling and talking in hypotheticals, not getting hot and bothered. And you thought we were fucking each other. We didn't quite lie to you about what we were doing; we just used a few turns of phrase that we knew you would interpret sexually. And while your statements regarding what you were going to do to me were slightly arousing, they were more intriguing than anything, sparking conversation with Mo about boundaries, desires, panic attacks, and ourselves. The conversation we had with you inspired intimacy, just not the kind you intended. And in the morning-after aftermath of the whole thing, I just feel confused and a little disgusted.

Bottom line is, I don't know that I want you just yet, or if I ever want you. If you'd read the "About Me" section on my profile in fetlife, you would know that. You are not in any way excluded from the statements I made, because, as of yet, you are not anything special to me. At your age, you should know that, and I'm relying on this assumption so that I don't hurt you inadvertantly.

I understand that women are a precious commodity in the C'Ville community, and that is why I have yet to decide whether your behavior is predatory or just desperate. I hope that when I see you on Sunday you are respectful and don't dare to try anything.

Sophia